GRRRRR I wish I had a shut off button to anger. I did let lose on him tonight. He informed me he was going to have OW over to the garage even though the kids were home. I said no he was not we agreed she would not be here and it turned into a screaming match. Mostly me yelling about how we agreed and him saying she was not coming to the house just to garage and me getting madder and madder. I had to cancel my plans to stay home with HIS kids she he could go out. I informed him I am sick to death of being disrespected I am sick of being the only one to watch kids and I am just plain tired of it all. He ended up coming home without OW and staying home by then I had already cancelled my plans so we ended up home together. I would assume he told her she could not come because I am a horrible person ect but O WELL! That does not even bother me. Mind reading but he either respects me enough to listen or just does not want to fight about it. Again I feel if they cared enough about each other he would just go against me. I know I handled it horribly by screaming but I am sick of him pushing the boundaries we agreed to one of them being she could not be at the house or around the kids. I also feel better for standing up for myself though. I just need to do it in a healthier more reasonable and respectful way. He also said something to me about how he doesn't like to spend time with me because then I act crazy and possessive like we are together.
So things I learned through this situation tonight 1. I can stand my ground 2. He will fight my boundaries but did respect them this time 3. I need to be more respectful and reasonable and talk not scream. 4. I will no longer cancel my plans for him 5. I need to keep even moods so we can spend time together and not be so controlling 6. I need to stop pushing him away 7. I can control my anger and let things go 8. I did not continue the fight (180) usually I would follow him around the house continuing the argument but not worth it 9. I need to stick to boundaries of her not being here or around kids otherwise He will not take me seriously 10. I deserve respect and happiness and this is not it right now!
