Yes I do think in some sitches closeness of the W to the WH will seriously interfere in an A, destabilising it. OW do have an advantage they are the fancy cake whilst the W is the plain Vanilla. I have done this with my WH on a couple of occasions but OW are numerous and easy to chase and catch. It is much better to let the A burn itself out that will give you time to work on you.
Triangulation is exactly the dynamic of W to OW conflict,. That tactic has a very great price to pay for you, don't play, take yourself from the game. I am advocating pleasant ordinary interaction with WH that is usually enough. WH has to be ready to come back and be aware of his actions. From your description WH returning would cause you great problems and he is by no means atoning, he is playing the triangle in this orchestra. Don't be fooled, you say yourself WH lies.
I also maintain if this OW goes there will likely to be a vacancy. Try to work Sandi guidelines too as you are becoming someone only a fool would leave, this gives you strength.
Please reread about triangulation mainly because many WH like that dynamic and I think your WH is one. Detach and get some peace.
You DB for you, this is to help you to become. As you develop and grow within you will be the seeds of change then your dynamic with your WH will change. My greatest concern is control by your WH and any other person.
My greatest hope for you is independence and freedom to live your life and speak your mind. I see the small green shoots in your posts. I can see you beginning to reel from the effort, it's very tiring to have so much contact with WH. It depletes energy and positivity.
Breathe deep blue breaths of peace and rest your mind and body.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 08/02/1512:30 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
