Rotation schedule continues and the kids seem to be adjusting better now that we are in a routine. They still makes comments occasionally about being sad about the breakup, and I encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings... Trying very hard to let them voice what they are thinking and feeling as they try to process all of this for themselves.
Communication between exW and me continues to get better. Almost friendly -- and much better than earlier in the summer. OW and marriage plans still in the picture, so there is nothing about this better communication that makes me think she's waking up... That is so far down the road -- if it ever happens -- and I really don't know where I will be when that happens... For now, and especially for the kids' sake, I am just grateful for the more friendly tone between the two of us. Have had some "business" talks recently that went really well also -- things like sharing/splitting the expenses for the kids and managing the rotation schedule with flexibility and understanding when things come up.
My outings with friends continue -- even when I have the kids I am able to schedule things with other single friends who have their kids at the same time so we all have fun together. However, last night I was supposed to go to dinner with someone I used to date (who is now interested in me and has revealed that she knew it was a mistake to breakup with me when she did but she was just in a weird place then and couldn't handle the thought of a relationship...), and early in the day it just didn't feel right (even though we've already been out together for dinner a couple of times over the past month) so I backed out. Felt so much better after I backed out of it... Not sure I understand completely what or why I felt that way about the date and about backing out of it -- still trying to process that for myself... I don't think it's a simple as "not ready to date" because I do feel I am ready to explore possibilities if any arise... but something was/is going on that made me back out and feel good about it... (And yes, I did have a strong spiritual sense that backing out of the date was part of God directing my steps to keep me on whatever path He has for me at this time)... And then, for the first time in MONTHS, I slept in REALLY late for no reason at all (went to bed early too)... When I finally did get out of bed I had breakfast then went to the gym, then came home and cleaned house for the rest of the day... Not sure what is going on with me right now... Aside from dealing with an MLCer/exW and coping with our broken home, everything else in life seems to be going really well -- job is great, finances are great, staying connected spiritually, doing things with friends as often as I want (which means when I want/need alone time I get it, but no shortage of folks to do stuff with every evening if I feel like getting out of the house for some healthy socializing)... I guess this is just all part of the process for me and I just need to "go with the flow" and continue to trust that God is directing my steps toward whatever He has planned next for me...
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
