Well she came home in a depressing mood. SHe went and laid down on the the bed and started crying her eyes out. I wanted to ignore her but I couldnt. The kids went to comfort her, and I stood back, but I was so worried I asked her what was up.
She said she had talked to a lawyer, and I dont have to worry about divorce no more. I asked why, and she told me that the lawyer told her I would most likely get full custody, and child support up to 1000 a month. Since Im the primary/ONLY caretaker.
I told her I dont want a divorce at all. I want to become better husband. She told me the old classic "I love you, but Im not IN love with you anymore". God that stung.
This OM is apparently going through a divorce himself. SHe says he is sweet, and she likes him. I dont freaking know what to believe no more.
SHe kept throwing things out there like "What if we divorce, but just remain house mates?" Or "Lets just agree to have an open marriage".
I said I want her to stop talking to OM, and lets work our marriage out. I looked her right in the eyes for a long time just silent, and after a while she started crying. She just broke down hard, and hugged me. She was balling.
THe whole time her phone was going off. OM was calling and texting like crazy. She was just clinging to me saying she was so sorry. I told her I was sorry too for my failures. She says she can tell that I am, and she hopes I keep being better like I have been.
She said she is willing to give our vows another chance. She says she wants to work it out. BUT THEN she goes to take a shower, and locks the door. Something she never does. I hear her answer the phone, but cant make out whats being said. Anyway she comes out, and gets the baby D3, and says she is going to her aunts.
I dont know what to believe. I cant trust her I KNOW that. She has only known OM for three weeks. I know that from my snooping. I cant believe how naive she is being. I hope she aint taking my baby around him. This is getting to be a roller coaster.
I know it. I know its silly to just try to be a caveman about it. Its just my primal instincts. I know for sure that Its wrong. My whole life I been a fighter. I grew up rough. Always doing rough stuff. I have so many issues. God Im a mess.
Its not about being a caveman or fighting or anything like that.
My point was that if it wasnt THIS guy, it would have been a different guy. Just like is has been twice before. If you chop off a weed, but dont pull the root, it just grows back, right?
Its the same thing here. You chased off the other guys before, but you didnt CHANGE anything. So it was just a matter of time until there was another OM.
Instead of worrying about this OM, PULL THE ROOT. You have to make the changes in yourself to become the best mattdad there is. The energy you spend on OM is for nothing.
I confided in my daddy who I haven't even spoke to in a LONG time, and he just got pissed off at me. Started saying things like "kick that sorry b@#$h outa that house!" Shes no good son. Shes too damn tainted. You are better than that. Shes making a fool of you son. SHes rubbing your face in it.
Still no contact. Im trying not to worry about our D3. I hope she aint taking him around OM. Im so tempted to call her. I know I better not though.
Im hurting pretty bad. Im not sure If Ill ever get all the way over this. Ill never be able to trust her again no matter what the outcome of this sitch. The thought of her with OM makes me vomit. He is so fat, and bald, and gross looking. I hope she is telling the truth that its just emotional.
Dang Im just rambling on. God bless you all for your support, and your willingness to read my posts. I feel like Im being listened to.
Still no contact. Im trying not to worry about our D3. I hope she aint taking him around OM. Im so tempted to call her. I know I better not though.
Im hurting pretty bad. Im not sure If Ill ever get all the way over this. Ill never be able to trust her again no matter what the outcome of this sitch. The thought of her with OM makes me vomit. He is so fat, and bald, and gross looking. I hope she is telling the truth that its just emotional.
Dang Im just rambling on. God bless you all for your support, and your willingness to read my posts. I feel like Im being listened to.
You should google "Affair Down". May help you understand her thoughts.
As for the trust, you can't trust her NOW, but there's no point in worrying about your interactions with her in the future, because there's no way to predict what that will look like. And yes, you will get over this if you put in the work. You will come to realize that you deserved better and you will learn how to have a healthy relationship.
Thanks yall. It helps my spirit to get responses. My poor S8 is so beside himself. He keeps asking me why mommy don't want me nomore. Asking me if she still loves him. He misses his baby sister immensely. He needs me to be looking at him all the time. he is clinging to me constantly. Even when I go the bathroom he follows me wanting to just hold on to my beltloop. My heart is breaking over that. I love him so much. I aint crying nomore, and Im trying to be cheerful for him.
Hi. Can you get some help ? Your going through a really rough time and it's too much for you and S8 at the moment
Life is tough and from your posts it seems like your W is not thinking straight. You can't talk to her when she like this. Take S8 and do something that will take you both away from the sitch , even for a little while.
Pleaser ake care of S8 and reassure him He's a baby and needs to be looked after
Shes getting meaner. Colder. She finally came home. She wanted to go straight to bed. She had dropped her phone, and was pissed about the broken screen. She is also depressed because her lawyer told her that if she files divorce there is a good chance she will pay lots of child support, and might even have to leave the house.
I told her I dont want that. She responded by screaming I DONT WANT YOU NOMORE!!! JUST LET ME SLEEP!
She has been taking pills to keep her awake, and its catching up on her. Adarol I think they are called.
I slipped up and told her I love her. She screamed WE ARE SEPARATED!!! JUST GET THE F#$k OUTA HERE!!
I couldnt keep my cool, and told HER to get out. She said ITS MY HOUSE! I INHERITED IT! NOT YOU! YOU CANT MAKE ME LEAVE MY OWN HOUSE!!!
Im about to take the kids down to the river, and catch some fish. I dont know if I even want her anymore. This [censored].
Well I got back from fishing with the kids, and it was fun and relaxing. It always is. My S8 caught a big ol bass. I should have been elated at how thrilled he was, but my joy was somewhat snuffed out by the WW asleep in the house up the hill. She left as soon as we got back home.
She seems like she actually hates my guts, and it all happened so suddenly. 3 weeks ago she was seemingly head over heals for me. Even after I caught her hiding her phone the first few times, before I confronted her, she seemed gooey for me. We were having LOTS of good sex. It was the minute I confronted her that she went nuts on me, and started talking divorce.
I wish I could just get plugged back into the matrix, and not know anything.
