It's hard, but you can see things differently when you start. Just don't go back too soon or falling for some of the WAS tricks, otherwise, you'll go back to square one! From experience.
Thanks for bringing up the subject of tricks. I often refer to the WW's bag of tricks, b/c she will try various ways to keep the LBH under her control. Don't misunderstand and see it as her wanting you for her H........b/c that is not what she wants. She wants to have you available for other reasons (babysitter, source of finances, escort, handyman, BFF, booty call, etc.). In other words, her reasons are all based on her selfishness. Everything she goes after (in connection to the H) is for her advantage only. She may lead him to believe there is still a "chance" for them, but it is only another trick to get something she wants. She butters him like a turkey. She knows he is desperate to have her stay with him, and she gains power from it.
He cannot afford to listen to her "words" or believe that some sudden change of "friendliness" is a baby step. This is not some signal for him to cave to her feminine wiles. She is a master at manipulation, and you will do well to keep your guard up until you start to see her actions match her words. Until then, do not believe what she says.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
