Wife left with kids yesterday...

[Painter]

I am detaching and only want to speak to them when they are going to bed so I can wish them good night for now. I should not call during the day since I'm detaching right?

No, you are not detaching from the children. And detaching means something else than not calling - it means giving up control over the outcome of a situation, and realizing that you will be okay regardless. You still want to be the very best father you can be. How you act now, may decide what happens with custody if this moves forward. I know you are in shock and this seems unthinkable, but you have to focus on your children and fight for their and your rights.

Have you spoken to an attorney about this situation and your rights to your children? I don't know where you live, but there aren't many places a wife can just take the children and leave. You need professional advice to know what to do next. I would not let on that you have involved an attorney, this is just so you know what to do and what your - and their - rights are.

Can you imagine how hurt and confused your children are? They are innocent victims of this, and have been taken away from their home. Why would you let your W take control like this? She is of course free to leave, but she cannot take the children from the home and only let you have visits! And if you fight for your children in a calm, collected manner, she will respect you more for it.

You have received great input on the situation with WAW, and I'm sure there will be more coming from those who have BTDT.

If you can't find local support groups, you can get phone coaching from professionals here.