Surviving the rollercoaster by getting off two.

[Karma12]

Hi all....sorry for the long absence. I was away in Mexico for a week with my D and SD. Then my Son and his GF arrived from the UK. They are still here for another week and living our hot Summer!

Vanilla, thanks for sticking by me. I will read your thread and catch up.
Mom22....I am so happy to see you are still around. Hope you and your beautiful children are doing well.
TLEE86....thanks for posting!

Ok so I will catch you all up and answer the questions you have asked.

Mom22 and TLEE85. Having a PMA has gotten me through many a challenging time in my life. Does that mean I think what my STBX did is respectable and ok? H-ll no!

I do believe my STBX went through ( and still is going through) a MLC. He I now know was depressed and had dealt with a number of loses in his life. He was blaming me for his unhappiness and plugged into the first thing he thought would make him happy. Just because I can understand as a human being how messed up he was does not mean I think it was ok for him to treat me and his own D horribly in his quest to find himself. One day he is going to have to deal with the fall out of all the band choices he made.

The other woman it seems got tired of his non commitment and moved on. She is now apparently married! Lol I have to say at the time he was living with her I had much less contact with him and was in survivor mode. It was after they broke up and I say some of my old STBX that I missed that things got more complicated.

I have kept busy and maintained "GaL" No matter what life will move forward. We have to live for ourselves. Yes I still have feelings for my STBX. The more he is like his old self the harder it seems. If you read about MLC on the MLC forum it will make more sense. I told my STBX recently that he seemed more himself again. He laughed and said he was still unwinding. To me that means he is not all the way out the MLC tunnel yet. He is slowly reconnecting with his family. ( the wife is always last). His behavior is all,over the place. That means even more so I have to GAL and keep busy.

I have dated a little here and there. No one special yet. I am happy as long as I have things to do and people to see. Will we ever get back together again? It would depend how much he learned from this. I don't know if I would ever trust him again with my heart. I do though as a human feel for him. I know he's been pretty messed up.

I am not happy about how he has treated my SD. She only has one childhood. She will be 14 this year. She is very angry with him and he is going to get a well deserved earful one day. He will never get these years with her back. I believe he will have a lot of regrets one day.

At present we are still apart but on friendly terms. Neither of us has filed for divorce. if he hasn't heard from me in a few days he still comes up with silly excuses to message me. He is still searching and learning. I am staying back to protect myself. Who knows what the future holds.....I'm just moving forward...one day at a time.

Cheers,

Karma