I think this brings up a good point about affairs in general... how much time is it sane to "hang in there" being patient and loving, while suffering? I mean , at some point doesn't that become "ENABLING" because while words may say otherwise, the super-patient behavior kind of says "this is okay with me, I will put up with it, and you can probably even do it again some day!" Don't hear me wrong, I think at the beginning of an affair it is ESSENTIAL to support the spouse and avoid ultimatums, because when they are overwhelmed with the powerful feelings of new love they are not going to swayed by ultimatums. But at SOME point, doesn't the maddness have to stop? My husband has been "patient" with my affair for a year. Just kind of hanging around waiting for it to be over, without really fighting for me. His patience has impressed me and I cherish him all the more for it, but patience also supports the affair becoming CHRONIC... it's a double edged sword and I guess there are no easy answers.
