Wife left with kids yesterday...

[PigPen]

Good job fdu. Azzork (welcome back btw!!...if your writing lends to who I think you are) dropped some great stuff on you too.

I stopped drinking when my W left too and ask the exact same questions you did about how will she know now that she's moved? She will. That's how. And you're in for a long road so keep it up and move slow.

In the beginning she won't trust the changes anyway, but do them anyway. Then, months (sorry) down the road when you've truly decided they are for you and not for her, she'll feel it. When you have no reason to keep the changes if they were just for her, but thanks to the support on this board and all of the work you've done on yourself you've decided that the New FDU 2.0 is how you're living your life from now on, she'll know too.

You're on the right path fdu, you're in a world of hurt and trust me, we've all been there and sometimes no matter how far out we are from the BD, we get sent back there. But it does get better. Trust this process.

Think of it this way. There's only one possible way for your M to get back on track for good and it's not anything close to a guarantee - it's to do this work. To dive into it, to really go where you don't want to go and get yourself an amazing life. Then and only then do you have a shot and that's only if your W is willing to come back to the table and if she's done her own work.

I'm 8 months out and now just starting to grasp things that Cadet and Zues were telling me 6 months ago. Just starting to grasp them. But you know what? They were right.

We're all lost at being single. I'm still terrible at being single. You know why? I still hate it. But until I get comfortable with it, nothing is going to change and I'm still going to be having part of my decision making process be held by my long gone W. But it's a process that I've got to go through and so do you so just keep doing your best.