I would NEVER have thought to do any of this. It is completely counter intuitive. Like so many others I made so so many mistakes, made a fool of myself and just acted irresponsibly out of pain and fear.
The best analogy is a drowning person who is flailing and pulls others down who are trying to help when trying to save him/herself. The panic is a terrible feeling.
I am very vey grateful to you and the everyone who devotes their time to this Board. From the bottom of my heart Thank you.
#1. Thank you for time #2. Thank you for sharing your stories #3. Thank you for the advice #4. Thank you for listening
The less I talk to her now, the more texts and photos she sends. The more "upbeat and happy" I am when I am around her and the family the better she treats me. It's like she can sense my vibrations or feelings, if I project positve, happy, upbeat, detached in a loving way, it's all so much better. The less I focus on her and put the focus back on me, the better she reacts. It breaks the negative dynamic tail spin somehow.
I take the kids to dinner tonight and I am so happy to see them. I know they had a good time back home but it will be GREAT to see them.
I am still working on myself, trying to dig out, but I am much more in control and feel better about myself. I am no longer in "crazy" mode or "panic" mode (although I do get that every now and then, just not all the time), crying mode, depression mode, etc...
Now, it's just getting back to me and trying to be grateful for everything I do have.
So I get my kids for the weekend - yay! I already have some plans lined up.
My D6's tooth came out while back East. At drop off my W gives the tooth to me. I have a little box for both kids that I keep their teeth in. When she left, she of course did not take these litle boxes of teeth.
It's like I am the keeper of the kids mementos and keepsakes. She doesn't want to have anything to do with memories of the kids, or her former life. I store everything away, box it up, and she is just happy to live her life without any of us or any reminders.
So I get my kids for the weekend - yay! I already have some plans lined up.
My D6's tooth came out while back East. At drop off my W gives the tooth to me. I have a little box for both kids that I keep their teeth in. When she left, she of course did not take these litle boxes of teeth.
It's like I am the keeper of the kids mementos and keepsakes. She doesn't want to have anything to do with memories of the kids, or her former life. I store everything away, box it up, and she is just happy to live her life without any of us or any reminders.
Wife sends gmail message last night - "Did you cash the check"
All she had to do was look at he online bank account. She didn't need to ask me that.
I relied after several hours (after all I had a late night out GALing). Yes, thanks.
Touch and go's continue.
On the GAL front, Kids and I went to LedZepp again and Heart Attack, both tribute bands. We had a blast. I am working on house projects which is fun but tiring. It gives me a sense of purpose. I bought a new grill from Home Depot, and I am excited to try it out. I had neighbors over the other night for fun and trampoline jumping (kids).
So, staying busy, killing it at work and just doing my thing.
It has now been 11 months. I am getting used to being single. It is not so bad. I have lunch with my staff almost every day and am being super involved in everything at work.
I am unsure of the future but will kep pluggin away.
Love to everyone on the board. I pray every night for all of us.
Sounds like you had a blast with the kiddos and neighbors. That is a wonderful GAL activity. Growl...grillin' is soo much fun! Especially with rib eye steaks. Yummo!
Yeah, stay the course. You are doing really well with detachment and GALing.
Rob Eye steaks! Yes, I love rib eyes. I am perfecting my technique with hamburgers and hotdogs now and will work up to steaks. I will try this out this weekend!
I have plans for the beach with a friend and her little boy so this is a good time to try to perfect my BBQ skills.
I am also taking off next week with kids in tow to work on projects around the house.
