Thank You Cali. Regarding limiting the serious conversations to in-person only, I would like to find out at what point did you do that? It seems to go against the LRT techniques and min contact, to make the W miss what she has. But I agree how things can be mis-communicated, especially via TM. I'm thinking that the pending convo regarding D is one of those topics that simply has to be discussed in person. I figure that I'm at least 5-6 weeks away, by the time I get a job and have to confront WW for the expectations on money. Right now, it's been nearly 5 months since BD1, and around 4 months since she officially moved out. I know that she is really struggling with her emotions about missing the kids, and how she is going to support herself. I think that is good and part of what she needs to go through. But I don't want to initiate too much personal contact too soon. It's still hard for me to see her so not sure I'm ready for it yet either.
Was actually to the contrary. Electronically we are FAR to available ... when ever they need to speak to us .. Boom... Instant right>? So after I set that boundary .. granted she tested this and I would not respond. In fact I was given a pretty good guideline on TM responses and incorporated them with my "no Business talks" approach.
Typical TM/Call : Reply 1-2 hours TM/Call concerning S(kids): 15-30 minutes TM/Call Emergency: Immediate TM/Call Serious Discussion- No Reply TM/Call that was considered "Temp Check": Pick battles/No reply.
I would not initiate any of this. She fired me .. no need to call the office ... nor return their calls when they realized things were not working as smooth without me there.
Granted I would give in here n there but as soon as I felt uncomfortable or that I was not grounded with my emotions in check .. it was time to end the discussion ... and thats another nugget .. always be the one who ends the discussion, this often does not get enough play here but the simple psychology behind it leaves them wanting more, pursuing you mentally regardless if they act on it or not.
