Need advice for a WW who left Part 2

[dwh15]

dwh
I did want to offer some advice on the TM. And given the fact you might actually file .. this might be a good time for you. I set a very firm and hard boundary with my W. She would blow up my phone TM wise, and I realized I was just feeding gas into the fire .... when we would argue I thought by TM atleast I would not get interupted .... but tone and intent are often misread in TM, especially in heated topics ... I just could never make any progress. So I told W I would no longer discuss serious issues via TM nor phone. Those conversations would be done civilly and in person. When she would start to spin-and-spew I would one time tell her I would not be talked to in such a way, if we could speak civily then we can finish the conversation, otherwise I had better things to do than rehash the past and argue pointlessly.

This took some time, but I am so glad I did it (With the help and suggestion of the vets here) Even now, W knows she can not spew in my direction as I will just not have it.

Thought maybe this might help you in the months to come ... as like Sandi said ... she is going to pull out all the stops to squeeze you for what she wants and ensure that her fantasy A she has dreamed of in her head stays on track ... fortunately you are not on that crazy train any longer.

Thank You Cali. Regarding limiting the serious conversations to in-person only, I would like to find out at what point did you do that? It seems to go against the LRT techniques and min contact, to make the W miss what she has. But I agree how things can be mis-communicated, especially via TM. I'm thinking that the pending convo regarding D is one of those topics that simply has to be discussed in person. I figure that I'm at least 5-6 weeks away, by the time I get a job and have to confront WW for the expectations on money. Right now, it's been nearly 5 months since BD1, and around 4 months since she officially moved out. I know that she is really struggling with her emotions about missing the kids, and how she is going to support herself. I think that is good and part of what she needs to go through. But I don't want to initiate too much personal contact too soon. It's still hard for me to see her so not sure I'm ready for it yet either.