Great job in handling this the way you have .. reading it really looks like you are finding your stride here. As far as the dreams ... I have some NASTY ones, especially currently as I am processing things a bit differently ... I was told (by my W ironically via her IC) that dreams are a way our brains process through information ... so having these dreams in a way is your brain dealing with them for you on the subconsiouc level ... not sure if I buy into that fully ... but after the real nasty dreams annd my next day a wreck like yours ... I tend to move a bit further and have a much better few days afterwards.
I did want to offer some advice on the TM. And given the fact you might actually file .. this might be a good time for you. I set a very firm and hard boundary with my W. She would blow up my phone TM wise, and I realized I was just feeding gas into the fire .... when we would argue I thought by TM atleast I would not get interupted .... but tone and intent are often misread in TM, especially in heated topics ... I just could never make any progress. So I told W I would no longer discuss serious issues via TM nor phone. Those conversations would be done civilly and in person. When she would start to spin-and-spew I would one time tell her I would not be talked to in such a way, if we could speak civily then we can finish the conversation, otherwise I had better things to do than rehash the past and argue pointlessly.
This took some time, but I am so glad I did it (With the help and suggestion of the vets here) Even now, W knows she can not spew in my direction as I will just not have it ... its not constructive and does little good. We can discuss hot-button topics civily .. or wait until a time we can. She also knows now that TM is not a good medium for such talks nor spew as I will just not respond to it .... during the boundary session she did hit a record high 28 TM and 8 missed calls to which no replies were given, they will test you.
Thought maybe this might help you in the months to come ... as like Sandi said ... she is going to pull out all the stops to squeeze you for what she wants and ensure that her fantasy A she has dreamed of in her head stays on track ... fortunately you are not on that crazy train any longer.
