Need advice for a WW who left Part 2

[dwh15]

Uphill, that sounds EXACTLY like what I'm dealing with. You can't win, no matter what you do. Do fun things with kids, you're a jerk because W can't afford to do the same and you're making her look bad. But of course if you didn't do fun things, you're a jerk to the kids and they deserve better. I'm not catering to the wild emotions of my WW anymore. The kids come first, me a close 2nd, and WW doesn't even come into the picture. If she happens to benefit by accident, as something that I'm doing to help the kids, then I chalk it up to a nice coincidence.

So I had a dream last night where I was with WW at a family event and she was in a great mood. Talking to my family, all smiles, and trying to justify her choice to be with OM, how it was all an accident and they started as just friends, etc. I started yelling and calling her names, then woke up. Of course I felt totally pissed off. In the time since I woke, I've went between anger, sadness, and finally a dull emptiness. Guess the roller coaster is still moving, but fortunately the hills have gotten a lot smaller. I dread the thought of this going on for another year or more. I know my W is suffering too, but in different ways than me. She misses her kids, and is scared to death about how she is going to get by financially. It all seems so pointless. I wish I could call her and tell her to come home, be a family again, let me take care of her. But I know it doesn't work that way. Hoping for a good day ahead.