STBX called a couple of times late last night but I didn't answer. Then this morning she called as I was driving to work. We talked about some nuances with next month's schedule and the upcoming birthday party planning for the kids.
Then she paused and said that she just didn't know. I asked her about this and she said that I seem so happy and it seems like I'm done. I jokingly respond and let her continue. She talked more about how she didn't expect this to happen. I just listen and validate.
Then, I say that I had thought about her question the other day, about what I wanted. I told her that I do know what I want. I told her that I want to be happy and I want to feel in love with someone again like the way I felt for her when I looked into her eyes on our wedding day. She sighed like she was dreaming and remembering that moment fondly. She replied by saying that she knew I would find that again and the she sees all the girls who like my pictures on Instagram. I playfully laugh in response to this.
I then asked her about what she thought was best for the kids. She talked about the kids seeing both parents happy and independent, etc. I tried to lead the conversation a bit like GB's script but it didn't seem to be flowing the same way. I just validated and eventually ended the call. I pleasantly wished her a good day.
Then STBX called back a few minutes later and said she had a question for me. She asked me if I thought I could ever love her again. I paused for about ten seconds and said "yeah, I think so." I told her it would certainly take some time. I joked that if we ever got to that point, it would almost feel like I was dating someone for the first time. She chuckled. She said that it was something to think about it and we said our goodbyes.
It felt good to be confident and clearly express what I want to STBX. Who knows where this leads. But, I know what I want. I deserve to be happy and I want to be in love again with someone who respects me, even if that's not STBX.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
