I wish I had a positive outlook for you right now. No, going away does not help them "think" about the M and R, I believe it only convinces them they are doing the "right" thing.
Today, I thought she could be doing all the things she has been doing, going to work, going to school, to study, out with friends and still be married. Actually, she was doing all these things and I thought I was supporting her. Then I realized, now she does not have to be anywhere at certain times, she can go to her own place, talk to who she wants, come and go without telling anyone, not take care of children, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. She is and wants to be single. And I guess this is what will be. I so much want to tell her how much better the M and R and family would be; but of course she is unlikely to listen.
I know it is impossible, and you convince yourself you feel better, but you've got to let H take care of himself.
