Saw H today. He came over and took dd18 to dmv. She TM'D and asked if he would. He got dressed and came right over. That is the first time since he left he has done that. That and started to spend time with the kids. When he got here (and even when they got back) I went into the bedroom and did "busy" work. Both times he followed me and talked. Mostly about work but hey it's a start. I listened. No questions etc. That's why I went in there because I know I will want to ask questions and that is what sent him running back.
When he takes the dd's off for whatever, I do not quiz them on what is said etc. I figure that's their time and they might stop it if I do that. Dd18 did actually say something today. She said "Dad looks defeated." .When I asked her what she meant she said he looks sad and broken. I asked where she heard that. It's not a phrase I ever use. She said that is how her friends describe her and she said it wasn't untiltodayy, looking at her dad, that she understood what it meant. I told her ok and let it go.
I never hear from him at all after seeing him. This evening he has been TM'ng off and on. Again small talk but still. Plus I know the scallywag and her adult daughter and grandchildren are there so.
No expectations. No pressure. I can't help him but to shine the light. Otherwise he is on his own.
Me 44 H 46 3 DD 22, 18, 15 1 DS 2.5 M 10/1992 BD1 2/2014 BD 2 7/19/2014 Moved in with OW 7/20/2014
