Wonka nailed it with her post. Yeah, it was harsh....but sometimes thats needed.
How about I ask you then: What do you hope to gain by putting up a dating profile? Will it get you closer to your goal? What do you plan to do with this poor woman that would wind up on this sham date with you?
The point is that you cant listen to EVERY word your wife says. In this case, her thought is that you dating will make YOU happy, and then SHE wont feel so guilty leaving.
I am sure that you can see that "Letting her go" and "going on a date" are not the same thing.
sorry, i'm getting confused. I will answer your questions...
What do I hope to gain by putting up a dating profile? It would show W that i have let go and I am moving on and change the dynamic, which I thought was something we are trying to do here.
Would it get me closer to my goal? I don't know, maybe. That's why I thought of it. I keep hearing that she's not even going to think about coming back until it really seems like I have moved on. I can't think of a better way to show that I've moved on. In fact I was told recently that I need to not only make it seem like I've let her go, I actually have to get to the point where it really doesn't matter to me if she comes back or not, before it will ever happen. only then we she sense that I don't need her anymore and only then will she reconsider. It seems to me that the easiest way to show her that I don't need her anymore is to show her I'm willing to consider being with someone else.
What do I plan to do with the woman on the date? Certainly not marry her. I don't think it would be harmful to anyone. People aren't always looking for a long term relationship on the first date. and maybe it's not even a date. maybe just putting up a profile would show her I'm moving on and get her closer to that point where she feels I don't need her anymore.
Maybe it's not a shame date anyway. Maybe it would help me get out of my hole, to think that if this doesn't work out with my wife, that there is a world out there and other fish in the sea. I don't have to marry or sleep with the first person I date.
i apologize if my questions are wrong. I'm new here and trying to feel my way around. I think there is some logic in what I'm asking.
I actually think that "letting her go" and "going on a date" are very closely related. If I ever truly let her go and give up trying to save the marriage, probably one of the first things I'm going to do is think about finding another partner. I ain't getting any younger and I believe in companionship.
