I would NEVER have thought to do any of this. It is completely counter intuitive. Like so many others I made so so many mistakes, made a fool of myself and just acted irresponsibly out of pain and fear.
The best analogy is a drowning person who is flailing and pulls others down who are trying to help when trying to save him/herself. The panic is a terrible feeling.
I am very vey grateful to you and the everyone who devotes their time to this Board. From the bottom of my heart Thank you.
#1. Thank you for time #2. Thank you for sharing your stories #3. Thank you for the advice #4. Thank you for listening
The less I talk to her now, the more texts and photos she sends. The more "upbeat and happy" I am when I am around her and the family the better she treats me. It's like she can sense my vibrations or feelings, if I project positve, happy, upbeat, detached in a loving way, it's all so much better. The less I focus on her and put the focus back on me, the better she reacts. It breaks the negative dynamic tail spin somehow.
I take the kids to dinner tonight and I am so happy to see them. I know they had a good time back home but it will be GREAT to see them.
I am still working on myself, trying to dig out, but I am much more in control and feel better about myself. I am no longer in "crazy" mode or "panic" mode (although I do get that every now and then, just not all the time), crying mode, depression mode, etc...
Now, it's just getting back to me and trying to be grateful for everything I do have.
