Fingers crossed. I think good things are coming your way.
To answer your questions, I think it's a combination of all those factors you mentioned. I am, by nature, an analytical person. As for the emotional maturity, I think it is more of EI (emotional intelligence) than anything that characterizes my communications.
I'd like to think that books recommended by various DBers over the years has contributed to the way I communicate nowadays. Also have incorporated some business communications that focuses on clarity.
In regard to communication and listening techniques, I am a big believer of Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication principles. (Rosbenberg also does small booklets such as "We Can Work It Out" etc.) The other valuable resource I've benefited tremendously from are books by Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening and People Skills: How To Assert Yourself, Listen To Others, and Resolve Conflicts by Robert Bolton.
One other book worth reading is called The A to Z Of Being Understood: Make Your Voice Heard and Your Conversations Count by Kay White. This particular book I discovered on my own outside of DB and boy am I glad for this book!
Hope this helps.
In my mind, these ^^ books dovetails nicely with DBing.
About a month ago, I got another Gary Chapman book (original author of 5 Love Languages) that focuses on conflict resolution approaches titled Everybody Wins. Good stuff in there.
I want to say that I don't presume to speak for MWD, but I suspect that she is all for improved listening and conflict resolution resources that supplements DBing. From my perspective, these books ^^ would be a good starting point for improved connections.
I think good things are coming your way. 
