DBB, I'm just so tired, I haven't got the energy. My kids don't even want him back, "He has sacrificed his life for everyone, now it's time for his happiness". Whatever.. As for your W hang in there, like you said it has been less than a month (better than six). I know the pain of just wanting to hearing their voice...it will get better. It's been six months for me and although I still want to hear his voice...I'm getting used to it when I don't. Take care, stacie
just dont take this as an excuse to wrap yourself in a blanket of pain and self doubt. Being tired and in pain are signs that you are heading down the path of depression. You need to get out and do something for yourself. Even 1 night a week.
Yes, I'm a hypocrit in that area, but am trying to get my 1 night a week.
take care of yourself.
Bill.
"you are who you chose to be" - Iron Giant
Link To CURRENT Sitch
Hi Bill, Hi DBB, Well this is the weekend H has the kids and as usual I'm in a state of confusion. For the months of Oct.,Nov., Dec.,and Jan we spoke sometimes spent the holidays together (not intimate)..Feb. we were together for a couple of days (intimate) then we barely spoke for four weeks...now for the last two weekends he has had the kids we have been intimate. I'm not sure I get it, I could look at it as small steps forward..he knows I picked up the D papers and have drawn up the final stipulation...he said we don't need to rush into it but when he talks sometimes it seems like it's already done. The only good thing at this time is I'm not an emotional basket case (I'm not sure why). I told him that I would gladly give him his D if thats what he truly wants but I feel that it's a mistake and six months down the road I feel it might be a big regret. I see him everyday he has the kids, he'll be here tomorrow I'm sure. So any advice guys, I seem to be at a stand still and am not really sure what I'm doing (obviously). Bill I hope everything is going well with you and thanks for checking in on me. DBB, How are you managing...better than me I hope, thanks for checking in on me....I'll write again, Take Care, stacie
Quote: So any advice guys, I seem to be at a stand still and am not really sure what I'm doing
Stacie,
That is all of us. W has the kids tonight, after I ask her to consider taking them for a night; I needed a night. Went to IMAX and was sad I was sitting alone on a Sat night when I should be with my family. And I started thinking about family trips we took and how I guess this will be no more.
So, I'm not good. I still do not understand this; the pain and sadness are still too fresh. As complicated as this is; it really is simple; I want her in our life.
I suspect you are glad you told him how you feel, so no matter what happens, you will not regret not telling him. I'm finally learning to be honest. A heck of a lesson.
Hi DBB, I'm sorry about your night, I have had many days and nights just like yours...I still do. I remember our vacations, alone and with the kids...just hanging out on the weekends,its all very hard. I miss all that (badly at times) but I think I've gotten to the acceptance stage and feel I've done everything in my power to stop the runaway train...it's time it derails if that is what needs to happen. It's been a very short time for you DBB...I'm sorry to say that it will still be awhile before the pain starts to fade, but hang in, it's not over for you yet (there is still hope). Despite spending tonight alone, it was good that you took a night for yourself, we all need that. Anytime you need to talk I'm here, take care of yourself. I'll talk to you soon, stacie
Quote: I think I've gotten to the acceptance stage and feel I've done everything in my power to stop the runaway train...it's time it derails if that is what needs to happen.
Thanks Stacie,
I would give anything to reach there and I guess I will one day. Not a good couple of days. W's mom told me today, W said she is happy, she does not have to dread coming home anymore. W's mom does not believe W is coming back and I'm realizing this too.
I do love her, but she has her own priorities now and I have to remember how selfish she is being. I'm still sad and cannot get angry yet.
Hope you are well. And everyone around there is doing ok. You seem to understand where you need to go and what you need for you.
DBB, I'm sorry to hear whats going on but remember it hasn't been that long. My H was very happy when he moved out and for a good three months + after but I can see his unhappiness now. Today he stated that for himself, me and the twenty years he was married he needs to "take a break" from OW to figure out what he wants. He also stated he knew what he was doing was selfish and self-centered (six months later). Now that should be a break through but I'm not jumping up and down for joy. I keep remembering what you said "no expectations", thank you for that because now I can look at this and say to myself... that this is good...but I'm not expecting anything to come of it, time will tell. I can say I'm prepared for anything, my part of the paperwork is completed and ready for filing when and if that time comes. I know what your going through and it will be awhile before you can look at things in a different light. As for W she may be happy now but it may not be that way next month. The hard part is going on with your life without her and making yourself and your children happy. Hang in there your doing well but it's still a long road...I'm here if you need to talk. Take care of yourself, stacie
Ok so here is an update and I'm really not sure how to feel about it or how to handle it. My H decided it was time to "take a break" from OW. He says he know it's lust and not love. He has even read the article "Great Expectation", circled some of the pertenant information. My problem is I want to be happy by this step but I can't seem to manage it. After my H had the conversation with the OW about not seeing each other or calling he came to my house and cried about everything, including her. Remember we haven't spoken about getting back together but H stated he would never know what he truly wants while seeing OW....if he is seeing OW then he's not seeing me and he misses me. I'm listening patiently even when he cries about OW but how much do I listen too? How much of myself am I supposed to give? and why aren't I a little bit happy about this big step? I don't get it.
DBB, I hope you had a good evening, take care stacie
