Gabs, +1 for exercise. It will help you function and be a better father. I rode my bike for literally thousands of miles. I wore out a set of gears and a bike chain in a single summer. It helps. Although you're focused on your wife, you also need to be there for your kids, and you can't do that unless you take care of yourself.

Interesting point to contemplate: See how all these people here feel about their walkaways? They are obsessed with them! The walkaways are not pursuing them, they're not sharing their feelings, they're not declaring their love, they're not demonstrating changes.

Instead they are heading the other way! They are mysterious, they are elusive. They are going out and living their own lives, regardless of what the other person thinks. They are resolved to live their life.

Does this seem to diminish attraction or increase it?

Stop and think about that. Here you have a large data sample. When the WAS pulls away, the loving feelings increase. When the WAS gives space, the loving feelings increase. When the LBS pursues, the loving feelings diminish.

These are facts before you.

Let that guide your plan.

Pursuing does not bring you closer, space does.

In the movie "Caddyshack" Chevy Chase's character says "In one physical model of the universe, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line in the opposite direction"

That is 1000% true of a walkaway spouse situation. If the day your spouse says she wants to leave, you smiled, patted her on the back and said "I love you, I hope you find what you're looking for" and then went your way and did your own thing, that would be the shortest path to reconciliation.

No apologies, no explanations, no love letters, just walk the other direction and give her the space she wants.

If you could do that:
-- You wouldn't dig the hole any deeper
-- You wouldn't push her away any more
-- You wouldn't make her any more resentful
-- You would give her space to think about what she's doing instead of forcing her to continue to think about escaping
-- You would give her time to see what it feels like to live without you for real
-- You would grant her the gift of space and time that she's looking for and she would be grateful to you for not making her feel guilty, and for handling it with class, honor and dignity

A straight line in the other direction is the shortest path home.

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015