well it was really hard but I didn't write the letter. today I feel horrible. kids are here and I can't even take care of them. just made some mac and cheese for them and came back to my cave. i can't get out of bed in the morning.
the 180s are the easiest because I feel like I'm directly doing something to get her back. I can't GAL. I go out and sulk with my happy friends.
it seems there is no end and it's only going to get worse, not better. contemplating calling the doctor for some meds.
