We do get along with each other I am just not sure that I can manage to adjust our relationship from married to friends ...tho I realise right now I do not have any say in it
What do you mean you have no say in it? You have a say about your life. You just have to start thinking about what you want -- other than the marriage. Get beyond that point, and think about what you want without a marriage involved.
From my observation, living under the same roof is much more difficult on the LBH, b/c the BS can't see themselves as "separated" and the family is still thrown together as a unit. The LBH sees the WW dating and contacting her lover and doing whatever she pleases......while continuing to take advantage of having a H, without the responsibility or commitment from her. The state of limbo can last for years under these conditions. However, let me quickly add, before a man decides to be the one to leave the home, he better check with his lawyer to see if this could go against him in any legal way.
I am not promoting separation. I'm just stating what I have observed. Many men have said it is easier to detach when they don't reside under the same roof with the wayward. Plus, as long as she has all the advantages of living with you, she's not going to really experience life without you, is she? IMO, when a WW won't come to her senses, then she needs to actually experience what she wanted.....which is a life apart from her H and the M. When that reality hits her hard enough, it has a way of breaking up a lot of that fog.
Are you still sleeping together and having sex?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
