So here it goes another day. On my long drive home from work I couldn't help but obsess about H not calling. Of course he calls when I walk in the door...at first I was a little angry but tried to hold it together...angry at the fact he wanted to know what we were doing for our daughters birthday, of coarse he hasn't called in days to check on them. I managed to get myself under control but I went into help mode trying to fix his relationship with his kids, as always will I ever learn! We talked for over an hour about a lot of things, I didn't want to hang up. I confess I made I few bad remarks, not real bad but sometimes I can't help it. No talk about divorce except that I let him know I was ok one way or the other..he said we'll deal with that after his vacation in three weeks...great! I can't wait. He seemed pretty detached at the begining of our conversation but toward the end he let me know if I ever needed to talk he would always be there, no matter what happens I will always love you!!! What does this all mean....it drives me nuts. I will always love you I always feel like this means like his mother or friend but not his wife!! I'm always looking for hidden messages, but I try not to have any expectations. I'm not sure if it's easier to talk to him or not...I can't be his friend..that hurts way to much and obviously I can't talk to him because all I want to talk about is R and how I feel about him. I think I was doing better not hearing from him...now I have so many questions but no answers. Venting is always good. stacieB
