Sorry to hear but things aren't over until you decide to be done.
My H filed for D and we almost made it to mediation and things changed.
The best advice I can give is fight for what's best for you and the kids. These decisions can potentially affect the rest of your life. Fight for what you think is right and best for you and your children. Leave the dirty work to your lawyer
I am sorry to hear this ... but honestly the writing was there right?
Does this change things for you? Read jobs post again ... that's the attitude and approach you are going to need right now. One from strength and fortitude. Your W will spew and throw tantrums but do not allow her to walk all over you anylonger. She has had this all set up before BD .... and so far you have played along just as she predicted .... time to actually 180 this and become a better man.
You might be feeling pretty low and hopeless, I am here to tell you if you start the work it will pay off regardless of what your W does. I did it .... turns out my W did a 180 of her own ... I would not bank on that nor did I .. .I became a better man for all this .. and this forum had a HUGE role in that transformation
You have 2 choices ... continue about things the way you have .... or decide today is the day you will start living YOUR life.
Thank you for the overwhelming support everyone. That is what makes this community so special. As a former Marine, the shared bond of the people in this community is reminiscent of the military.
A certain favorite quote of mine comes to mind:
"We stand alone together"
I'm pretty physically and emotionally drained. I intend to post my update of the last several days tomorrow.
Been following along silently. Just wanted to throw my hat in the ring as well and send light and love your way.
Like they all say, it ain't over til it's over. And it's over when it's over for you, when you decide to drop that rope.
You're a plane on the runway right now, burning a ton of fuel just to get fast enough for lift off, but still on the ground. But you will soon have enough speed to fly. Just keep moving down that runway.
Me 37,W37 D8,D5 T20 years, M13 years BD-5/14 MC starts (continues)-9/14 EA discovered-10/14 Piecing(?)-11/14-5/14 "I just feel 'done'"-5/15 Trial S (I moved)-6/15/15
She expects the kids to live with her fulltime and the things she said she would do if I fought her on it were despicable.
If you don't carry around a recording device with you at all times you interact with your wife, now might be a good time to start.
1. Catch her staying stuff like that will go far towards YOU prevailing in court
2. Protect yourself from potential false claims that way wards love to use to tilt the scales of justice in their favor. ESPECIALLY, if and when you choose to fight to protect your children, to the greatest extent possible, from prolonged exposure to an unrepentant wayward.
3. So you can document the truth should anyone ever need independent verification of your side of the story (like your kids years from now).
Your marriage isn't over. Plenty of people recover despite a divorce filing. In fact, your best strategy MIGHT BE taking the offensive and actually confronting her strongly legally...fighting for primary custody and guaranteeing yourself 50/50 custody in the process.
You can't roll over and give in. Your children need you to fight for them and protect them. Wayward divorced moms make terrible parents. 99/100 times the kids are better off...primarily....with the betrayed dad.
A divorce doesn't conclude the war for your marriage. There are now just going to be two battlefields. Let your lawyer handle the divorce battlefield. You don't discuss it with her and hide behind your attorney. Protect yourself with a recording device (maybe a wristwatch) so you don't get blindsided with a restraining order or something. Other than that...carrry on with your 180 and GAL'ing.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
