She says she hasn't been able to sleep lately and too many thoughts rolling through her head. All I said was yeah I've been having restless nights too and she wanted to start talkign about what I'm thinking...etc I told her no thanks I'm good. Why get drawn into something that will undoubtedly turn negative at this point I went to take a nap.
Later this afternoon we were doing ok, she was reading me poems and I was listening. She tried to talk about past relationship stuff and how things were bad even before the pain meds and the A. I told her I dont want to talk about this I'm going to get going (I had a meetup group thing to do anyway) she yells out the door "you know this fake happiness stuff isn't going to last"
I didn't even reply and left. I had a great time at the meetup group it was nice to socialize outside of my work circles and family friends for once.
I wanted to tell her this isn't fake happiness for the first time in a long time I AM actually happy even with her stuff and her A...etc I know I can't control her into giving it up or even wanting out marriage again. If she does end up leaving us for good I know I have in fact pulled out all the stops with the book and the forum and the coaching. I also know that I deserver better than what she has been giving me.
