Bwriter, Your right, you are right in the mist of turmoil since the W moved out two weeks ago. I can try to explain things from my perspective as a W that left her H four yrs ago. I thought I wanted something more, there was internet sites my H couldn't live w/out and I felt he didn't love me so I left. Your W may have a different outlook on things now that she has left. I think you are doing great holding yourself together and you still have hope, I know you do. I understand what your saying there were no severe problems in our M, the last two years especially had been really good, even w/everything going on I still make excuses to see him, my downfall is talking to much about R like I did tonight. I think I found DB to late he is pretty hooked on OW and lives with her except when he has the kids. The only hope I have, which isn't much is he can't say the words "I want a divorce", he skirts around it.."yes will proceed with the paperwork in a couple weeks". I know it's not much and my heart is starting to accept this could very well be over and some how I have to find a way to be ok with this. The question I have is how do you turn off twenty years and so many memories, hopes and dreams? I just don't know. Take care, write again, stacie
Quote: The only hope I have, which isn't much is he can't say the words "I want a divorce",
Believe me, from the guy who has trouble seeing any positives; this is HUGE. I suggest he still does not know what he wants. W seemed certain, talking about legal matters, etc., then two weeks ago in C, she said, "I don't need to be thinking about this right now (D), but I'll know when I'm ready." It seems she is still on that path, but the idea she is not ready, is something. I know I cannot base full hope on that, but it is better than the alternative.
I know it is difficult, but do your best to NOT talk about the R.
Quote: The question I have is how do you turn off twenty years and so many memories, hopes and dreams? I just don't know.
Again, if you get this one, let me know?
Hang in and do for you. Feel better about yourself, impossible I know, but you will feel better about whatever comes your way.
Bwriter, Thanks..I wanted to look at that as a sign, at least a sign of confusion is better than nothing, granted I'm not putting all my hopes on it but it is something. I think it's pretty good that your W doesn't want to think about D right now. How long has she been in C? I think you have reason to have hope and I do understand when you say you don't want to base full hope on that (you need to protect youself to a certain degree). I had a pretty good day yesterday despite talking to H about R, I was upbeat and didn't get down. I think yesterday may have been the first day I haven't cried in five months, on the bad side due to problems at work I've been up for the last thirty-five hours so it's been off and on water works all day. How are your C's doing through all of this? My 11D has been very clingy, doesn't want to be away from me, I sometimes think she is trying to be my protecter. Once again thanks for listening and the input, it's greatly appreciated, write again. stacie
Well the kids finally crashed and burned tonight. I think this is the first time I have seen my tuff 15D cry. Both children fully believe their father doesn't care about them anymore...the only person in his life that he cares 2cents about is OW. This is great, here I go again trying to save the little relationship the kids have left with him. My question why is this up to me? I won't lie to them but I did try to explain to them that their father is going through a crisis in his life and hopefully he will snap out of it soon, they need to be patient and express their feelings to him. What else can I say, they know about OW but he never calls to see how they are, it's like he has dropped off the face of the earth, they probably won't see or hear from him until next Thursday night, this is just so out of character. Right now he promises them everything on the weekends he has them, then lets them down...spends time on the computer, phone or leaves them for several hours alone. If this is a MLC will it ever end, will he wake up before he alienates everyone in his life? Just needed to vent, stacieB
DBB, If you need somebody to talk to I'm always here. I'm sorry to hear that your in a down slide, been there many times...still. Write when your able, take care stacieB
Hi DBB, The article you are refering to is it "Great Expectations"? I read it online but I'll pick up the Mag. this week. As for H reading it, never happen but I'm always up for a good read. Thanks..take care, stacie
Oh, don't ask him to read it. Just leave it lying around or leave it up on the computer or something.
Argghhh. W just called to tell kids goodnight and was all talkative. Nothing of import. Makes me crazy. I know to focus on the positives and everyone says this is better than the alternative and they are right. But I keep waiting for the bottom to fall out.
What a crazy way to live.
Hope you are well. And yes, I tell my D11 if she needs something or wants to say something, say it to me or her mother. The WAS needs to know what concerns, questions they have, otherwise they think the kids are "alright."
