Also, it would be more difficult to show I'm GAL and doing 180s if he isn't here to see it.
What's the consensus about moving out vs separated living?
GAL helps show H that you are moving on but the main point is to show you that you can move on with or without him. Its to help you cope with the loss and find yourself. Its a huge distraction that lets you live in the good of your life instead of dwell on the uncontrollable negatives.
Originally Posted By: Train
People differ in opinions on whether it's best to live together or apart during LRT. I think it depends on the "case." If you can effectively DB while he's in the house - in other words, if you're strong enough to get your own, personal groove back while he's having an unrepentant A right in your face, day-in and day-out - then I don't see a down-side to him staying in the house. Like you said, then he could see your 180s far more often than if you're living separately.
Yes, very difficult but its possible to do. It takes a huge toll on your sanity being right in the middle of it, where you can see certain things. I dont think anyone in the very beginning just after BD could do it. It something that just develops after enough suffering has taken place.
Originally Posted By: NtGvUp
Should I stop inviting him out for bike rides, meeting up with friends and family, and shopping? Do I stop acting like a friend with him? Should I offer to pick him up at the airport?
I would say most of this is pursuing, so stop it. If he can handle destroying his M and having an A, he can handle his transportation from the airport. Its would be one thing if he asked, but don't go out of your way to offer doing it.
You don't want to act cold to him, just be friendly. There is a distinction between being a friend and friendly. You want to have those friendly encounters where you can chat(if they come up) but you don't want to be doing small talk with him whiles hes talking about his GF. Theirs a balance that needs to be found. For right now focus on being the friendly neighbor and working on you.
More importantly you need to begin to move forward with your life. You have some great advice above on where you should be, re-read it. If we can see the neediness your H can see it also and he does know you will do anything to keep him.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
