Bwriter, You have a great perspective, I wish I could get to that place were I can look at the situation like that. One of the biggest problems is that D15 & D11 aren't having a hard time with this, they are actually kind of glad dad isn't in the picture which makes me feel worse. They don't feel this way because of his actions with OW (didn't help) but he has always been difficult to live with...meaning he has little patience. The last two Tuesdays that he has come over to complain about his life, he has mentioned his disapointment in D15 and he knows that D11 just likes him when he's buying her something. I have always been the peace maker, the one that puts things back together and help keep the family whole like. I feel I can't do that anymore and I can't help H with his relationship with his kids (I want to) but that keeps me right were I was "the fixer". My D11 wouldn't even call dad for a ride to school today. Sometimes I think my kids would be more upset if H came back...even with all this I still love him and want him in my life. It came as a big surprise to me last night when it dawned on me that I have been sitting here listening to him cry, complain (especially about me sometimes about OW) and justfy everything that has happened in our lives...then he leaves here happy after venting and goes to her, so she never see the real him, just the happy one. Today I felt bad about asking him not to call or stop by anymore but I feel he needs to start venting to her, I've got enough to deal with. You sound like you have a real good hold on things, how long has it been? Thanks for listening to my rants, Take care Stacie
