Newbie-H away with OW

[Train]

Nt, DR says to start with a beginner's mind.

I can't speak for Starsky, but he is who advised me during my H's A, and I've read years worth of his "stuff." I struggled with when and how to drop my "truth darts" and my "speeches" when my H was wayward, too. I always thought I was just supposed to pick a time and do it. Wrong. There will be a time and a place for you to state your non-negotiable core beliefs and boundaries with your H. But "grand pronouncements" aren't the way to do it. Initiating R talks is THE biggest DB no-no. Your H will open the door for you to express your boundary. You just need to wait for that time so that it's natural. And don't state a boundary unless you're willing to put teeth in it and stand by it. And don't repeat a boundary because that only weakens it.

My H is not the jealous type. Never has been so I don't know if going out with friends and telling him to not wait up for me would actually have any impact.
Please look back at what I wrote. I didn't say I thought it would impact HIM. In fact, I pointed out that YOU cannot change his mind. *Anything* I'm advising you to do is to help YOU and your PMA, which MIGHT end up being attractive to your H. (He's certainly going to be more attracted to an upbeat, happy you than one who is moping and criticizing and cornering him with grand pronouncements.) The more and longer you practice living your own life and having fun, the more authentic it will become and the more you will live your way back into YOU. And that YOU might end up re-attracting your H.