Toots, you are so right...your words are wise and have a lot of meaning. Never mind the wounds, scars, tears, a constant pain in the stomach, the love and the hate that runs in my veins, the rocks that keep walking through, the storm will pass and I will stand tall because it's who I am.
I can be at the precipice, but I won't let go. I love life and no matter what happens today I believe there will be tomorrow.
This is indeed an overwhelming time for me and the boys, but as everything in life; we scream, we cry, we don't comb our hair in the morning or take off the PJ's, and all this just to realize that tomorrow is another day and we can smile and be happy again.
The reason I am pretty mad with him is because I still have a hard time accepting and understanding the MLC effect. Sometimes it sounds like a bunch of bull just to rainbow their way out of responsibility. But the experts say it is real, so who knows.
My lovely RD. If you at least would be a fly, you would see that thinking about you, your new shirts, the new helmet makes me smile. The contrast of you talking about your kiddos and my XH's disregard for his boys is something very powerful to show me that there are some men out there that actually can be good human beings.
You keep saying I love my XH, at some level I do, but the vase broke in too many places and IDK if there is any way to glue it together again. I am slowly letting go. Next week I may sign the D. I am a person of solutions and I do not like to hang on something for too long without getting it resolved. It has been too long already, too much pain, it is time to respect myself and think that I can have something better in my path as I decide to walk for and by myself.
You are holding my heart together and in place, you want or not, you believe or not, internet or not, you are my inspiration, my dream, my adventurous friend. You and many others in this board will say I am crazy and I hold to a ghost that is so, so far away, even my closest friends say that.
You know what? I am Cira and always said, who cares!!! It's my head, my life and my feelings and I don't give a damn for what anyone thinks. If it makes me happy, then be it.
You are yet my Guard Angel, sometimes at night I lay my head on my pillow and I image lying my head on your lap, and you put your hand on my hair and just say that I will be OK. Thanks RD!
Hi Huddy, thanks for stopping by. Sorry I am also kind of very selfish lately because I am not posting on other people's threads. I will be back, and I will try to support as many as I can the same way I am getting a awesome support in my time of need. Yes, that is the way it seems at least. H is even saying that he tough he was unhappy and now he is realizing that in 18 years together, he was never so unhappy, Go figure!!
I am still to post the goodbye letter I got and some other of XH's confessions. Right now, I despise the man he became.
