V, On to the next few paragraphs: All of these pretty much have to do with my illness and well-being. I can not do my job anymore. Physically it is impossible. building cars is a young man's game not a middle aged woman's. I am just a number at my company. One of 1000's. I never liked my job and it made me miserable. I was there for the money, benefits and job security. I needed that to take care of everyone else. Now that soon enough it will only be me and a few of my animals I don't need nor want to put myself through hell doing something I hate and that physically hurts me. I really am not exaggerating hat if I stay I will be crippled or die. I have watched many of my older co-workers be targeted into quitting, getting fired or dying by management. At this point for my health and well being I have to figure out a way to extricate myself with the least amount of financial damage. Treading lightly, making sure all my medical papers are properly filled out and yes having legal backing when management tries to bully me. Being diagnosed with my illness and then having H walk out on me were proverbial 2x4 that I could not continue on the life path that I was on. Yes, more time with an IC to discuss this further would probably be a good idea.
L and IC look to me to be important. Diana if you are unhappy at work then this needs to change. I can see you are committed to making this change.
My animals, I will always try to do what is best for them, no matter what. There are a few options I have and I will continue to consider all of them.
My stuff. I will take as little as possible with me. That should make things fairly easy to move around. Don't really care much about material possessions anymore. I even stopped shopping for anything but necessities. I see now clearing out so much that "things" really don't make me happy.
That is such an important insight Diana, although I believe much of the stuff belonged to others that you were care taking for them. In a strange way you take away another's power for themselves when you carry their burdens.
My husband: He is moving next week. He has accepted a job offer and will be gone.
I have no intention in helping him with anything. Right now I'm a bit angry because everything is moving so fast. Working hard on letting it go. If he wants to stay in touch he will have to do that. I'm going to continue working on my house and getting a life without him. We do have one MC session scheduled tomorrow, after that I think that will stop completely.
I am interested in hearing how the MC session goes. I think you have much to discuss especially as you undergoing so much change.
One little side note. My brother helped me raise my children when I was a single mother working shift work. I help him when I can. My mom lives with him and usually looks after the dogs. She is overseas right now looking after my niece. When she comes back it really won't be an issue anymore. He also looks after my animals when I'm away.
Sounds like carrying others burdens is a family trait? Do you see any roots there?
So there you have it V. Really not much about my H in there. Really more about me getting my life together. I still love him, just really don't know if I ever want to live with him again. He is a downer that dragged me down with him. If and only if he grows up, becomes self sufficient and happier with himself could I ever entertain the notion of having a M with him again. As it stands right now we don't have a M. We "date" and I don't think that is enough for me.
Diana, what do you want in your life partner? Has your H always been a 'downer' and why did he decide to make these changes? Are you intending to move near to him?
Diana DB is for you and to help you with your M. You are making many life changes and Dawn has validated those changes too.
This is excellent focus considering your circumstances, and its you that I am most interested in knowing via this board
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Please post after tomorrows MC
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
