MLC Funhouse continues

[HaWho]

My gut tells me I did have a MLC, but was a wallower. I think I went into the fog and he followed. When I woke up he was well into replay and I never noticed what he was doing. I was angry at him for years; it was an anger that was palpable.

Over the weekend I told him some of the things I experienced and he said "you are ahead of me."

He was shocked to learn that I too wanted an apartment and to escape my life. He asked if I wanted affairs. I did not. But I know I came in and out of the house for MANY, MANY months without looking at my H or even saying a word to him. I left the house without saying goodbye. For many months, when I heard him pulling in the garage, if the kids weren't home, I left through the front door before he came through the garage door. I bristled when he came near me. I cringed when he hugged me.

Then one day I remember looking at him and out of the clear blue, thinking, wow, he is handsome! When I approached him he looked at me like I was nuts and I had NO idea why.

I went somewhere and I don't remember a lot of it. But when I have read accounts from MLCers, I all of a sudden remember doing that exact same thing.

I didn't do one kind thing for my H in all those years. I did monster a bit.

I have tried to look for accounts where one spouse follows another. Have not seen too many. But I think I am one of those cases.