As much as I don't sound like it, I have had those feelings at one time as well. It was when my W first came back and was still a bit in alien mode. It gets better, trust me, you just have to stick with it and don't let these feelings keep you from your goal.
This goal should be to not settle for the bronze, but have the goal for getting to a GOLD relationship with your H. It can and does happen. DBing to get the WA home is just the start, you now have to work even harder to develope the relationship you BOTH want.
Along with my homework above, I suggest one other thing. Check into Retrouvaille, its a relationship changing experience. From the sounds of it your H would be open to it, and I suggest you give this a chance. You can read about my experience with it in my post, but I will tell you it will give you and your H a tool to develope an emotional relationship through sharing and understanding feelings through communication.
Miracles happen, and I saw one in each couple through our weekend. If you do anything for your R and your kids, I would suggest giving Retrouville a try. www.retrouvaille.org
God Bless You,
Reuben
Cautiously hopeful and keeping the Momentum
