Things did turn for me when I dropped the rope, sure there was a flicker of "I really wish I could save my M" but it got to the point I was exhausted in doing so and realized I was more important ... me.
So yeah I accepted the D was going to happen and was preparing for my next chapter whatever that would be .. I was moving on .. then W tossed the anti BD, but at this point I was not sold ... and I now had conditions that needed to be met ... she proved she was now all in and has done so consistently to this point.
My point is just 'acting as if' you are done does not work, you get to a place where you are doing the best you can with the situation, then you actually start doing well there. Its more about the mirror work .... If I had to try to describe it ... you know that glow a pregnant woman has, there is just something about her and she shines, then you discover she is pregnant and it makes sense ... for the LBH I think its similar when he gets his confidence and self worth back .. thats when you will see change in peoples situations. The new LBH will not get pulled in as fast to the BS the WAW tosses his way .... then she starts to think about all she has done ... took my W 4 months of that .. then another 3-4 to actually prove to me she would work at it.
