thanks. i did get a haircut. i've changed a lot of things. cleaning up around the house more. looking her in the eye when we talk. listening to what she says. seems to have no affect.
one thing I don't get... wouldn't it be OK to take the middle ground a little? can't I show her that I'm doing OK but also that I'm sad she's leaving? it is normal to have a mixture of emotions. she told me yesterday that she thought I would be fine with this because when we were together it seemed like I wasn't happy with her. so if I go with the "act as if" plan that confirms with her that I am glad she's leaving. I want her to know I don't want her to leave and any indication I gave before that I wanted out was an error. I want in. I feel inclined to occasionally remind her that I am not happy with what is happening and I want her back, not in a "groveling" tone but just as a matter of fact way of speaking. just so she doesn't get the idea that I'm happy about what is happening. isn't there some benefit to her knowing that I love her and want her? Some of these things I just don't get.
