Thanks V. The upsetting part for me is that my side of the situation does not seem to be seen. I know that I'm still looking to my W for something and I believe it's this - to be seen, to be heard, and to have that factor into this decision.
It doesn't feel like it's been a factor throughout the entire separation - quite the opposite. I am not happier than I was before - I'm happy differently, I do not believe the S is a good thing although good has come of it. I have changed my life drastically and have created immense benefit from the S, but credit is not the S's, it's mine for taking those steps.
I need to detach from needing to get this from my W or needing anything from her, but it's my challenge still and something that I'm working on.
WOW....Pigpen!! Just Wow! I have read some powerful things on this board, but that above^^^^^^^^^^^took my breath away. I haven't posted on your thread ever, and I hope you don't mind that I do now, but I just had to post. This is unbelievably authentic, you can just feel it in every word, every phrase.
I have watch your sitch unfold from the sidelines not feeling I could add anything of value. But the above needs to be fully acknowledged. You are quite the inspiration.
Thank you for everything you share. Wishing you light and love and the outcome your heart desires.
Jellybxxx
Thank you Jelly, truly for this message. I'm realizing both the layers and depth of DB'ing and the necessity for it in my own situation. Removal of my addictions was easy in comparison to honestly looking at what was underneath them. That is truly terrifying, humbling, and hopefully most healing.
You are welcome to post anytime, your message warmed my otherwise quiet fragile heart this morning.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
