Newcomer's sad story

[Gabs]

thanks. what makes me feel good is making music. I'm a musician and music has healed me many times in my life. Since she dropped the bomb, I have been writing, writing, writing. I have songs I would love to develop, record, and put on youtube. And I think people would like them. But the songs would reveal my lack of letting go. they would show my true emotions. so if I put a song up on youtube, and W sees it, she will know I'm still hurting and wishing. Which according to this site, is detrimental to achieving my goal. But in my heart, I feel like if she heard these songs it would reach into her heart and crack open the heart that she says she has "shut down." I so badly want to share these songs with her.

Here is a song I wrote for her over 20 years ago. so sad to hear it now because it's about spending the rest of my life with her, which I wanted to do back then and I still do.

(I hope I'm not blowing my cover by sharing that)

I have some new songs now I'd really like to work on but they all would fall into the category of asking her to give me another chance which I know is a no-no here so I guess I just have to keep it all inside.