Huge Backslide After Affair Recovery

[hopeOK]

Slept really well last night. But I did have a dream about hearing my H talking on the phone downstairs & I snooped to listen in to see what he was saying & to try and figure out who he was talking to. Shows that my unconscious mind is even preoccupied with what he is doing!

This morning he left the house w/o even saying bye. Whatever. He is acting so ridiculous ... it seems so weird that last week he was saying we can fix this.

I am GAL this week... tonight & probably tomorrow night I'll be out of the house doing things for me. I also have some volunteer things set up for when we get back from vacation. So I am making an effort in this area.

Trying to get out of his head & to stop worrying so much about all that. This is difficult. I think because if you care about saving your marriage, it is only natural to think about what your spouse is thinking, going through, needing, etc. It doesn't help that we have been an avoid-avoid type relationship (found this out in our marital counseling) and this got us into a lot of our problems before. We both stuffed our resentments & then exploded on each other when we couldn't hold it in any longer. So we tended to avoid conflict and discussions about the conflicts whenever possible. So then in marriage counseling we learned how to address these things. And now... I am suppose to back off & wait for him to use the counseling skills & address his issues? I just have so much conflicting information ... my counselor is even suggesting doing something different. So no wonder I am at war with myself on what my best approach should be.