I wonder if what you are going through is yet another phase of this never ending battle... I could have written your first post. Is it that we have lost the respect we had for our Hs? The sense of specialness in our R? That innocent feeling of having something unique and precious?

I too find myself looking and my H and wondering what did I ever see in him... Wondering why do I stay with him and whether I will ever feel the same love for him that I once felt.

And the answer is I do not know. I know feelings change and I guess that is what "love is a decision" means.

So I am giving it time and working on myself. I know I do not want a divorce, but I also know I will survive one if it comes... And I try to act 'as if' because if I don't my H will eventually stop doing the nice things and we will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I liked T2's post. It has a feel of hope and she is further along on this that I am.


"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little" Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"