LBS trying to get it right

[ATPeace]

I keep reading the rules and I am trying my best to follow them

but I want to want to write her a letter apologising for how I made her do feel during the M
I want to write saying things will be different
To let her know I have made mistakes and not been the husband I should have been
To remind her the good times
I feel othe best years of our M was still to come
Remind her of our wedding vows for better or worse in sickness and in health

This cannot be the best for our children
I know it is not the best for me surely after 17 years marriage there has to be a part of her that still would consider my needs and feelings I inow I still consider hers

I know she is so very sad for making this choice
Deep down I know she still loves me

BUT I KNOW I CANNOT DO THIS
[censored] [censored] [censored] why did I [censored] this up