After I made the original post I confronted my wife and she convinced me that nothing was going on. I decided I didn't need this site. Boy, was I wrong.
To get into what's going on, you'll need to know that I'm in the military (USAF), and currently stationed in Belgium. We've been here for about a year and a half now.
We went back to the states to visit family last month. My wife is still there. We stayed with my parents, and went on a road trip with hers.
Things were awkward most of the time. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and she'd be on here phone (we were 7 hours behind Belgium time). I asked him 3-5 times while I was back in the states if she was having an affair. Always got a no, sometimes she made me feel guilty for asking.
I came back last Saturday and as what the plan always was, she stayed back with the girls so they could enjoy their grandparents for a couple more weeks before coming back to Belgium to start school.
When I left, I left a decent note. We vowed to each other to work on our issues when she got back, to seek counseling. Made love the morning before I left.
The whole last week goes by pretty decently. We're communicating pretty decently, and things to seem steady in the right direction.
This past Sunday I wake up and notice she hasn't even read my messages from when I went to bed that evening. She had every other night and for some reason my gut was telling me something was off.
I broke into her Facebook account and there was the affair in all it's glory. The same pictures she was sending to me of my kids she was also sending to him. They expressed their deep love for each other, their plans on building something great, and even the fact they've had sex.
Me shaking with rage, called her, messaged her, did anything to get a hold of her so I could yell at her, tell her I hated her and that I knew she was lying to me. Being 7 hours ahead, it was 900 AM and she was sound asleep.
I did the next thing I thought to do. I messaged one of her good friends here and revealed the affair. I messaged her sister, and my parents to reveal the affair. I told my supervisor.
I messaged him, and told him I knew about the affair with my wife. I told him he had better tell his wife before I did. I saved all of the messages on my phone.
The other guy is in the army unit that shares our base. He accused me of harassing him and threatened to press charges. He then messages my wife, not realizing I have access to her facebook, and asks if there was any truth in my allegations.
When she wakes up and sees what I found, she doesn't even message me. She messages him, dumbfounded about the fact that I found them.
Finally she messages me. She's angry with me, what is there to say she says. She tries to convince me they didn't have sex, even if it was in the messages. She later confesses to everything.
It's now Tuesday. The past few days have been some of the hardest and longest in my life. They have apparently broken off everything, blocked each other on facebook, my wife deactivated hers because of her shame.
My emotions are all over the place. One minute I tell her I want her to come back so we can fix this. The next I'm telling her to stay, that I can't get over this betrayal. I picture them having sex in my head and it makes me sick to my stomach.
I try to stay busy during the day. Go to the gym and work around the house. But in the evening, with me and the quiet house my thoughts and emotions fight to strangle me.
I'm going to schedule meetings with military therapists. I hope they can help me work through this pain. I feel so lost, i've never known hurt like this before.
