Pig Pen, just wanted to relate to your desire to be understood.
For a long time I had imaginary conversations with WAW in my mind in which I'd make my points, or explain myself. And sometimes I'd then play her role of the exchange as well. Until little by little I realized STBX and I hadn't actually had any kind of communication for so long I was flat out talking to myself.
There's a really good chance I'll never be open emotionally with STBX again and never say anything deeper than 'running 10 mins late' in the days ahead. Now that I've accepted that it's gotten much easier. WAW hasn't expressed any interest in any thoughts of mine for the last year plus, and she continues to try to exert her preferences on many things...defining what she feels is 'fair' without asking me for example...but now I see her for what she is and I'm not interested in playing, or giving her power to wreck the wonderful life I have.
You'll get there. Keep going.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
