I would imagine she is very frightened. I always said if my xh ever comprehended the depth of what he did, it would bring him to his knees. I don't think that comprehension is ever going to happen, although, you never know. Either way, it doesn't have anything to do with me. I wish him peace always.
I cannot imagine what she must feel like...coming to terms with it all.
Indeed. There was a time I wanted my ex to "understand" what she was doing and who it was hurting most - the kids. But I don't wish that on her any longer and have not in years and years. I truly hope it doesn't happen. Others, outside of this board/experience, don't understand that feeling. But I've seen it and lived it so I know what it would be like for her in that sense. I don't know what it would be like to know you were the one that did it and had to live with the consequences.
Cali, it's not a bad thing that she's learning new things about you. If anything, it's a good thing that she's interested enough to learn them. And I'd say it's a good sign that marriage 1.0 won't be repeated
But it's not an easy walk for either of you. And of the two, I'd say she has the hardest part right now, if you can imagine that. Your time in he** is behind you - you have the tools to deal with what's going on. She is still building them and dealing with the fall out. It's why many don't come back; facing that is tough stuff.
Kudos to her for not running like a mad-woman screaming for the hills. And kudos to you for making it possible and having done the work on you. Not everyone does
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
