Some days i feel so strong and capable... and some days I freak out about my budget, and I get so angry and resentful for being placed in this situation. I think about what I really want to say to him... and then realize, of course, that there is nothing to say.
This is happening, and there are STILL some days where I can't believe it; where it still feels like a bad dream that I will someday wake up from. And then I'll be in some situation where I'm surrounded by intact families who are all dealing with stuff but are sticking by each other and staying committed, and I think, "i want that so much." Or I'll read or see something and STILL think that he is the person I'd most want to share it with.
