Here's the thing. I am so lonely even in a room full of people. When I don't think about situation, I feel OK.
When I do ineveitably think about the situation, I still freak a bit. Holy Chit, this is it. I am alone. How did I get here....spiral...spiral...spiral....bonk.
I have learned to thought stop, which helps but not 100%... I focus on the good things I have which there are many many many good things in my life and I am grateful for each and every one of them.
I am GALing, but still feel the emotional pangs of lonliness. I have made some me friends which is nice, but .... I still feel lonely.
I am doing better with work, more active, but still feel lonely. I am so missing being with a partner, just to talk, relate with, not to mention all of the other good things that go with being happily married. I feel ALONE like on a deserted island alone. I don't feel safe anymore.
Most of my friends tell me to get back out there and start dating but OMG, I don/t think I can do that either. So that means I am stuck between two worlds ..... lonely yet not ready to put myself out there and date... that's just too scary for me now. Besides, who wants to go on a date with someone who is mopey.
This sounds like I am in a self imposed prison right. I have the keys, I know. I can let myself out at any time... WTF is wrong with me?
