Oh gosh, this reminds me of Calibri's sitch in Newcomers. She doesn't post much nowadays, but I seem to recall that her H's Mum actually rang her to let her know that her H wanted a D. It took her a little while to come to terms with Mummy delivering this message on his behalf!

I agree about the boundary. You don't want MIL as a go-between, that's for sure...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus