A "tad" long...that's one big understatement right there, PP. smile

This is a start.

You need to whittle it down to 2 to 3 paragraphs. Whip out your Sharpie pen and cross out those that contain guilt-inducing statements or digs.

The "why" questions near the bottom of your first draft is very confusing and they all go off in different tangents. It won't win you any clarity points if you go down that road.

Hints for the next draft:

-Write down the "meat" of your discussion...a value proposition, if you will (in business speak)
-State your disappointment
-State reasons why a joint custody is the best way to approach it
-Write out "win" for W/write out "win" for PP
-Write out past history of dog (two sentences)...how you cared for him without any issues or danger

Look at it from a perspective as making a business case for a joint custody of dog. Leave out emotions out of it such as guilt-inducing comments and digs.

And comments like "pushing your agenda" isn't going to make W want to work with you on this. Zip it.

Now back to the drawing board for Draft #2.






Last edited by Cadet; 07/27/15 09:00 PM. Reason: remove name