PigPen's Dropped Rope - WAW and Waiting (4)

[PigPen]

Ok, it's probably a tad long, but I got it all out! 2x4 away if you need to Wonka, I'm in this for the knowledge as much as the dog.

"This is extremely upsetting W, I am trying to work with you. Not against you - nor push things to a hasty resolution that could leave one of us unnecessarily hurt.

Are you afraid that if I have dog back for a bit I won’t return him to you? Didn’t I grant you the same trust when I left him with you before going to Central America? Aren’t you now breaking it?

This is two separate issues in my mind:

Why I’m continuing to have to ask to see my dog. And why you are making that difficult/impossible for me right now.
2) Where dog will end up for good.

What I was trying to do was make it so that neither of us has to lose dog - despite this being your decision to break us up - at least not right now. What I was trying to do was collaborate - work WITH you - not control the outcome, not try to make things come out in my favor. But dog enjoys both of us, not just you.

You’re also the one saying we have to decide today where he stays for good - and do so now. It feels like you’re being controlling by keeping him from me even now. He is my dog too W, why am I having to ask repeatedly to spend time with him? Who granted you that power?

Dog was traumatized by our separation and having to live in multiple houses without stability, I’ll agree with you on that. It was traumatizing for all of us. Now we’re talking about him living in the same houses and the same routines. He’ll be fine and to say otherwise is push your agenda, not what’s in the best interest of dog.

I hear what you’re saying - you want to keep dog. I heard that when I got back from C.A. I also told you the exact same thing and feel the exact same way.

It’s very hurtful to think that you think I am able to put my extremely strong feelings for him in a box and ask me to reduce them to an emotionless decision that I have to make based upon your timeline and a few points in an email.

I love dog, he is my dog too, I don’t want to not be a part of his life nor have him not be a part of mine. I think about him every day. He was part of my everyday life up until three months ago. EVERYDAY. How do you feel about dog, W? That’s how I feel about him too. I see this from your perspective. I know you don’t want to give dog up.

It makes me angry to have you ask me to minimize these feelings down to nonsense like “if we were to ask dog ” and an upbeat email where we can “make it easy” if I give him to you. You will allow me to see him from time to time if I agree? I’m not interested in your scraps W.

No, I am not interested in just giving dog to you for good right now. And if you want to know where I think it’s best for him - it’s here.

CITY is dog's home. He lived here for TWO YEARS. He’s lived in W's City for three months now. I’m on an acre property here - you live in a condo. That combination should be the end of the conversation if we were truly basing this off of “what is best for Woofie.” Two years vs three months. Condo vs. acre of land.

I know how amazingly he and dog BFF get along and played together every day. Is there a dog BFF that dog has two years of history with? This is his home, he is familiar with this town, the hikes, and the beaches. He knows them well. I do not live on W's Road nor anywhere else with 60 mile an hour traffic.

When dog needed to be let out at night dozens and dozens of times when we were together, I got up and took care of him. You slept, not all, but most nights not even knowing he needed assistance. When you left our marital home, I took care of him. During that time I played with him every day, I comforted him, I took him to the beach, I fed him, I clipped his nails, I gave him flea meds. I stayed and took care of him. You did not.

You left our marriage W, and CITY. dog was part of both. When you left me, you left him. When you left City, you left him. When you walk away from your life, you leave things behind. You walked away and left dog behind.

Now that he should be returned to me per our prior agreement - we now have to decide where he stays forever. And low and behold that’s while he’s with you. Do you not see that this is out of alignment with everything you say you stand for?

Why can’t this be a win/win for everyone involved W? And why does his final destination have to be decided right now - just because you want to? What’s the harm in making that final decision down the road? Why do we have to follow your timeline here? Why do I? My life is still evolving, why can’t I see how things are going to pan out for the rest of the year and then speak honestly with you about what’s best for dog then?

If I am headed somewhere that is not better for dog than being with you, I have told you I would happily give him to you then - for good. I still stand by that.

But since you want one decision on where I think it’s best for him - it’s clearly here, in his home, in CITY.

Sincerely,
PP